If you have the pleasure/displeasure to live in the UK, if you’re watching some sports and there’s a commercial break you will be greeted by Ray Winstone’s head telling you that it’s all about the in-play.
This is bookmaker bet365’s marketing to get people to bet in play, like most betting adverts it’s implying that sports are better when you have money riding on it. This is true. Would horse racing exist without gambling? Betting does make the most boring sport watchable, even women’s tennis…
With that in mind I bring you In-work betting!
The other week, in the real world away from the interwebz, I have a job and my department had an “away day”. The mere utterance of those 2 words together: “away day”, is enough to prompt a groan from any reasonable human being. Generally speaking, I consider the majority of work meetings to be a total waste of time. Instead of actually doing work, people like to get together and talk about work, for hours, and without anything to show for it. And you always have at least one knobhead that hasn’t got anything useful to say, but he wants to make himself heard and will waffle on & on. I reckon that the number of people in a meeting is directly proportional to how inefficient the meeting will be:
And don’t get me started on those that like to have a “pre-meet” before the main meeting. I consider an away day to be one long all day meeting.
So, faced with a whole day of being bored out of my bottom. I had the brain wave of organising some gambling on the event. If betting can make watching a few horses running about enjoyable then it should at least make the time go by a bit quicker during this. I decided to offer some props bets to another chap I could trust to keep a secret. I would take the role of the bookmaker, I would come up with some markets, set the lines and he could bet on them. I offered him 1.91 either side, I’m not Pinnacle so he’s not getting anything better than that! He’s already got an advantage, it’s easier for him to choose the over/under and as he’s the only one betting it’s not like I can change my lines accordingly. He was only going to bet £5 on each bet so it’s not like I was going to have a heavy liability and be forced to close his account!
We debated together on some prop bets and I set the lines:
- Exact Time the away day would start
- Number of people to be present in the room at the start
- Number of F words to be spoken
- This was originally going to be the number of swear words said out loud, but F words is more precise. Is bloody or bugger a swear word?
- Number of people to leave the room to take a phone call (must have mobile in hand)
- Exact Time the away day would finish
We also considered a bet on the total number of times the company that we work for’s name to be said during the day. But we reckoned we have to pay attention 100% for the whole day and that was never going to happen! Another stipulation was that we couldn’t directly affect any of the bets. Like if he took the under on the F words I couldn’t stand up and say out loud “fuck-a-doodle-do you fucking fuckers” and sit back down all smug knowing I had won that one.
..to be continued